The Reminder

What do I induce in people? What message is imprinted on their heart? More times then not I catch a defect in my motives, I discover myself yearning for approval of man aloft the endorsement of God. I'm craving to reverberate God's heart, despite my fleshly heart impaling through, insinuating it's better than God's heart. Flipping their hair over their shoulder several will say, "well then don't allow that to happen". I wish it was as easily done as said. It's a continuous struggle. Time after time, I have found myself convicted of loving another person more than I love God. I find myself infatuated with a person and completely at awe; but wait if this person is that great, then how much greater God must be. I'm not saying one shouldn't love people, that's the exact opposite of what we should do. As Christians we are called to love people with the heart wrenching, breath stealing, knee weakening love; as God would love them. As people, we are spiritual beings, not mindless creatures ran by instincts. Who/what really claims my heart? Does my treasure reside in my fleshly desires? Or is it embedded with God's heart? Constantly our pastor will remind us to not just go through the motions of being a Christian, but to truly live it out. In dance sometimes instead of doing the dance full out( as in, dancing as if we were performing at competition right then and there) we just mark it, for a break but we claim that it's really okay because we're thinking about it. Don't do that! Don't mark through life. Don't just think about life, live it! Do it! Dance through life as if you're dancing for God right then in there, even if you don't see Him. Because unlike in dance where the audiance is only watching during the two minuets we are on stage, God is watching and experiencing life with us day by day, moment by moment, breath by breath, move by move. When I was on dance team there was always one girl who would ask before ever dance we did, "Wait is this full out?" Why not just do it full out every time, and if it really was just a time to mark it, well you got to live fully for that much longer and that much more.  We will never get another chance to glorify and honor God in this way ever again, once we are in Heaven it's a whole different dance. Don't take for granted each moment that we are gifted, because each moment has it's value just as each verse in the Bible has it's value. Love with God's heart, not your fleshly heart which only craves rewards from it's "good doings". Love without expectations and love without keeping score or debt. Love should be free, not something that someone has to do this this and that to earn. I want my soul to leave love embedded on people's stories. I want to be the one of many who makes someone's day, or that makes someone feel better. I want to be a woman of God, because He is the only everlasting thing. Everything else perishes and spoils. If I latch onto money, or sex, or food, or things of this earth in general, rather than latch onto God, I will perish just as those things will and will live a life of misery. I don't type this to convict others or be one to condemn others, that's not my goal or wish or desire. I write this mostly as a reminder, a documentation for myself, so when I look back I can see my initial wish, and stay on track. Hopefully this is some form of inspiration to you guys as well, if you all think I'm a loon without a life sitting behind my computer with out a clue, then think that. That's not the impression I wanted to make but everyone has their opinion. Know my heart isn't in this looking for praise or looking for rewards, my heart is in this humbly and genuinely trying to share this beautiful message I gathered today. Our pastor reminds us to give whatever we have, whether it's talents or money or just a smile, abundantly. We are called to join in this beautiful giving, because God gave us the most beautiful gift of all, Jesus. And thank God that He demonstrated this beautiful love, so now we can exude the same sweet love. Thanks for reading this, have a great rest of the day :)