Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Who Are You

" Tell us about who you are. What are your goals. How would you contribute to the school's community. Tell us about you"

About me?! What about me? There is no way I could just spew out my whole entirety in 500 words or less. How do you fit yourself onto a piece of paper? What part of me is relevant to an art college application? I could go the classic way of just saying "oh I love art and my goals are to be a studio artist and then sell as many paintings as I can." Except for that's not what I want. In all honesty I don't know what I want beyond the next four years. Really college, in my eyes, is a place to learn about what you actually want to learn about, not just another obligation the government forces upon you. Its a time for you to explore what truly interests you. What interests me? I just want to play. Is that allowed? Just to play? I want to experiment and see where this passion could take me. Where can this passion take me? I have no idea! I figure I'll just take opportunities as they come. I love to experiment with texture and layering acrylic paint to see the different patterns I can create. I like to make paper merge together in ways I didn't expect them to. I like to destroy books and make them into something beautiful. I like to create for the sake of creating. Painting and making altered books or collages is just a pure part of my being, it's practically my way of breathing. I have this over powering inner voice that is spewing out, in multiple different ways, whether its painting or writing or photography or via video or dance, I'm birthing this crazy creativity and I don't know what to do with it other than try and expand it. Lately I've been fascinated with pregnant women. Not because I want to physically be pregnant. Rather I feel like I'm metaphorically pregnant. Pregnant with new change and pregnant with a new life. A life of creativity and a life of expression. A life of allowing every emotion and thought spew out in a healthy beautiful way instead of bottling it up and waiting it to explode like a Mentos in a bottle of Coke; then I end up with a mess that's sticky and nearly impossible to clean up. I don't want to be another mess the world tries to clean up, I want to be an effective being in the community of the world. I want to be an effective follower of Christ as well. I don't want to just eat myself away in isolation and waste a gift that God bequeathed me. Truly I don't know how I will effect any campus I set foot on, for the longest time my mantra was " I don't plan on being the center of attention, but I won't be forgotten." Maybe that will be applicable to whatever campus I set foot on. Hopefully I touch and reach out to other people. Hopefully I'll be apart of someone's muse just as I know the other students and staff  will merge with my many muses. I merely want to explore a community of art and explore new techniques to expand my voice. I want to discover teachers who are passionate about what they do and are passionate about the students and their work. I love to manipulate materials so they will tell a story. What's my story? My story consists of heartache and confusion and pain, but also of the joy of coming to Christ and of love and of deep friendships and a beautiful family. My story is chock full of trials and coming out of those trials more empowered and more powerful and stronger in Christ. My story has a father that abandoned his little girl intertwined in it, and my over coming that. My story is dense with a close relationship with my mom and having ridiculously loving and life changing friends. But most of all my story is laced with art. I have never been so passionate about art as I am now. Art has always been a part of me, but I never thought I could ever actually make something of it. Who knew there was a college for people who loved what I love and I don't have to just go to High School Part 2. Who knew that there is a community of young people out there craving the very same thing I crave. The only thing I can do now is take whatever chance I have to being involved in that, and apply for as many schools and scholarships I can. I'm impregnated with, and birthing, a life worth living. 

No comments:

Post a Comment