Fly, Be Present, Trust

Tonight I had the pleasure of going to an open art class, one not about how "good" you are or how "technically refined" of an artist you are or what the "final product" looks like. The class was purely just to play, and learn to allow yourself to not worry if something ends up "bad". It reminded me that I can't go into a painting or drawing and be scared about how it might "fail", or turn out looking like a 5 year old got a hold of paints. I didn't have to worry about what grade I'd get on whatever I made. I wasn't even told what to make. I was simply shown some interesting ways to play with ink and paint and markers and found my own way of playing. I ended up painting with a tooth pick and a smashed up paint brush and a Chinese pencil. But my mind was so caught up with my day (read my earlier post) and still stressed. The teacher told us to be present, to push out the world and focus on playing and healing yourself. Be present. We read several quotes to get into the mindset and my favorite quote follows: "We lose the power of the moment because we're so rarely in it. We're reliving the past or speculating about the future. We continue to believe that tomorrow's the day when I'll be more capable, more wealthy, more fit, and more loving. Yet intuition, creativity, connection, soul and inspiration are available only in the present moment.-Unknown Writer"
 I had no idea what to make. Luckily we had time to write in the beginning this is what I ended up writing:

Trust is my word of the day. Trust in God, trust myself, trust the people around me not to judge but expect me to be nothing but me. I need to trust that I am safe and trust that I am cared for and people notice I am here. I am here, I am not transparent, I am Meg and nothing else. I am who I am and I have to trust that I am who I am for a reason and purpose. It was not a mistake. I have to trust that I am more than a bundle of atoms wrapped in sexual desire and natural survival instincts. I have to trust that I am more than an animal, that my purpose isn't only to extend the species.

My painting or whatever you want to call it ended up with my tree and a bird and almost looking like it has purple burns but not burns on it. It says fly all over some places more apparent than others, but thats just what I need to do, I need to trust, and fly with it. Here is what I ended up with: I liked it more than I thought I would:

It was extremely relieving to do this work shop, I feel much more free.